Hold Me Back Podcast: Privacy

Should I be reading my teenager’s texts? Why are so many children opposed to apps that monitor their location? Aidan and Ash explore a topic that’s becoming increasingly challenging to navigate in the new digital age – setting appropriate boundaries when it comes to adolescent privacy “invasion.” All in this week’s episode of Hold Me Back. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and your other favorite podcast platforms.

• Episode Summary & Player
• Show Notes
• Hold Me Back Summary

Privacy

Should I be reading my teenager’s texts? Why are so many children opposed to apps that monitor their location? Aidan and Ash explore a topic that’s becoming increasingly challenging to navigate in the new digital age – setting appropriate boundaries when it comes to adolescent privacy “invasion.” In addition to sharing some eye-opening research, the boys propose a fundamentally new way for parents and teens to negotiate this topic. You might be surprised what developmental and family psychologists have to say about what’s at stake if parents get this wrong. This episode covers everything from Aidan actually giving his sister credit to reading your kids’ text messages. Here’s a small sample of what you will hear in this episode:

• Why was this the hardest research for the show yet?
• Why are ages 12-17 most important for psychosocial development?
• Mothers vs. Fathers on Snooping
• How has privacy changed in the digital world?
• What does privacy look like in the ElDifrawi household?
• What’s the deal with “My house, my rules”
• How do police officers’ children rebel against them?
• Aidan & Ash’s Framework on Approaching Teen Privacy

Who was more convincing: Aidan or Ash? Vote at the bottom of this post.

Enjoy the show! Check out the show notes below for much more detail.

Show Notes

• Intro to Privacy
• [0:20] Welcome to Hold Me Back
• [0:25] Meet Aidan (Gen Z) & Ash (Gen X)
• [0:42] Boomers
• [0:58] Shoutout Allie!
• [1:03] Where did the topic of parents, teens, and privacy come from?
• [1:28] Digital Age
• [1:44] Apple Podcasts, Screen Time App
• [2:19] Content
• [2:26] Life360
• [2:43] App Store
• [3:50] Psychologist
• [3:58] Cost-Benefit Analysis
• [4:09] Technology (Tech), Internet
• [4:26] Social Media
• Research: What does the research tell us about parents, teens, and privacy?
• [6:58] Why was this the hardest research for the show yet?
• [7:18] Empirical Evidence
• [8:17] YouTube
• [9:43] Why are ages 12-17 most important for psychosocial development?
• [10:25] Erik Erikson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development
• [11:30] Fidelity
• [12:32] “Privacy invasions and their association with poor parent-adolescent relationship“
• [14:43] Does Aidan feel like his boundaries of privacy are important to who he is?
• [15:18] Search History
• [15:31] “Parents’ and Teens’ Perspectives on Privacy In a Technology-Filled World“
• [17:33] “Is Snooping on Teenagers Ever Ok?“
• [17:50] Mothers vs. Fathers on Snooping
• [21:42] “Adolescent Perceptions of Parental Privacy Invasion and Adolescent Secrecy: An Illustration of Simpson’s Paradox“
• [23:02] What do you do about this lose-lose situation?
• [23:41] How has privacy changed in the digital world?
• [25:57] How has access to porn changed?
• [26:43] Netflix, Twitter, Amazon
• [26:57] Data
• [27:48] What was Ash’s dissertation on?
• [27:54] Internal Family Systems Therapy
• [29:17] Healthy Development
• Debate: What is wrong and what is right about parents, teens, and privacy?
• [29:41] What does privacy look like in the ElDifrawi household?
• [31:36] How do you view your Right to Privacy?
• [31:56] Personal Space
• [32:44] What’s the deal with “My house, my rules”
• [33:03] Growth Mindset
• [33:54] How would Ash feel if his boss said something like that?
• [37:11] Self-Expression
• [39:22] Cause-Effect Relationship
• [39:42] When’s the last time taking the door off your kid’s room helped anything?
• [40:16] How do police officers’ children rebel against them?
• [41:31] Aidan & Ash’s Framework on Approaching Teen Privacy
• [42:35] Privacy Zone 1: The Monitoring Zone (The Negotiation Zone)
• [43:57] Privacy Zone 2: The Danger Zone
• [44:15] The Big 5
• [44:28] Sexting, Depression, Anxiety
• [46:09] Privacy Zone 3: The Learning Zone
• [47:47] What interesting example of handling this did Ash hear?
• [48:14] Bullying
• [48:28] Snapchat Streaks
• [50:49] Family Therapist
• You convinced me
• [52:33] What did Ash convince Aidan of?
• [52:59] What did Aidan convince Ash of?
• [57:08] Thank you for listening! Follow Hold Me Back on HoldMeBack.com
• [57:16] Who was more convincing: Aidan or Ash? Vote below

Thank you for listening to Hold Me Back. To hear more episodes, follow Hold Me Back at HoldMeBack.com.

WHAT IS HOLD ME BACK?

Gen X and Gen Z live together, but we occupy different worlds. As the generational gap widens and conventional wisdom on parenting and education fails, is it even possible to understand one another? In this unique son-and-father podcast, Aidan & Ash ElDifrawi hash out a new contract between generations, forcing them to violate comfort zones on today’s most charged topics: social media and screen time, bullying and loneliness, inequality and privilege, sex and drugs, education and etiquette, even politics, religion, and sports. All to uncover a path toward greater harmony and a hopeful future for the next generation.